


This is me

by WeirdFangirlingPersona



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: College/University, Encouraging, Established Relationship, Hot lecturing Bram, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Simon is more than hooked, these two cuties being adorable dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 01:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15876051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdFangirlingPersona/pseuds/WeirdFangirlingPersona
Summary: You know what sucks? Being black, gay and Jewish.You know what sucks even more? Being black, gay and Jewish and having a presentation about concentration camps.Or: Simon helps Bram to embrace his passion.





	This is me

**Author's Note:**

> So I have no idea where they´re going to College and it might be slightly OOC but whatever. Just read it, please.

You know what sucks? Being black, gay and Jewish.

You know what sucks even more? Being black, gay and Jewish and having a presentation about concentration camps.

Bram was openly gay, obviously black and even if he wasn´t rightfully Jewish (you inherit Judaism after your mother and his mum was Christian) it was no secret he celebrates Chanukah with his father. Bram knew he would have gotten a one-way ticket if he had lived during that period. It was not for the first time he actually appreciated the time he lives in.

The thing is Bram loves History. It was kind of a secret but not really. He liked school in general. But because he was so good at English (according to Simon he was the perfect example of the cute grammatical boy with flawless sentence fragment), everyone simply assumed it was his favourite subject. They weren´t wrong, however, History was his true passion.

Bram loved to learn about ancient kings, underestimated queens, long-lost empires and fabulous inventors. To him, it always resembled a story. And for Bram, being the nerdy bookworm he is, stories have always had their undeniable magic. It was probably thanks to his teacher at the Middle school. She used to tell them the historical events as if it was a plot of a fairy-tale. A plot of a very cruel fairy-tale indeed, but what can you do, the past isn´t peaceful. His favourite era was the first half of the 20th century, especially World War II. He didn´t know why it just was.

Bram was already nervous because of the fact that he has to speak aloud in front of all the people from this class. But it wasn´t just that. What he was the most scared of, was a reaction of the audience. He knew they were all "reasonable adults" here, but what if not?

He knows he is a rightful human being like everyone else, but what if somebody doesn´t think that? What if somebody doesn´t get it? What if there are some racist, homophobic and neo-Nazi assholes that will make fun of him?

That´s why he declined the offer from his professor, to have a project on this specific topic in the first place. And it wasn´t just some minor project, it was the only project they´d make in this semester. The only grade they get. Because since History wasn´t an obligatory subject, just an optional one, you weren´t graded in the normal way. (No clue what I meant with "in the normal way", I have no idea how it goes on American colleges, lol) You just had to choose some historical period/event/famous person from a list the professor provides, and make an hour-long presentation as if you were the professor. In the end, the whole class rates you. 

He would rather choose some save topic – what about some architectural style or maybe Ancient Rome?

But then he talked to Simon about it when they were calling. He was glad that even when they were living two hours ride away and had very different schedules, they still found time to call each other almost every day.

"Si, I´m scared."

"Why?"

"I don´t know. Maybe because I´m black, gay and Jewish? I shouldn´t like to read books and watch films about Nazis. I should really choose another topic. "

"Aww, B. Don´t be. You´ll be amazing, I know it. You get to that studious mood of yours and outshine everyone."

Bram chuckled. "Studious mood?"

"Yes. I´ve seen you present a few projects in High school. You get all serious and suddenly it´s like some kind of an authority cloud is surrounding you. Everybody instantly listens and you´re spilling out all the facts at an impossible speed like fifty words per second. It´s kinda hot."

"Really, Simon? Fifty words per second?" Bram is grinning now. He knew that conversation with his massive dork of a boyfriend will cheer him up.

"Well, maybe not that fast. You actually speak at a really good pace so everyone is able to understand. But I didn´t catch a single word anyway, because you were just so hot I was shamelessly ogling you the entire time."

"So, are you suggesting I make a PowerPoint presentation next time I want to seduce you?"

"You don´t have to seduce me, babe, I´m already yours. But I wouldn´t be opposed…"

Bram quietly laughed on his phone again. "I´ll keep that in mind."

"I´m sure you do. But seriously now, if you don´t want to do it, the presentation on the camps I mean, then don´t. I totally get it, Bram. I really do. But I think it´s kind of a pity? You have spent so much effort on being unapologetically yourself. I remember being so proud of you, B. I still am by the way.

I also know how you´re passionate about history. And I know how much you like the WWII. You´re probably the only person I know, who knows so much about it. After all, it was you, who made me watch The book thief and read Sophie´s choice. So, I think it would be a pity not to use and show all of the knowledge and hide your passion.

However, I also know how scary it can be to talk publicly about something so close to your heart. Especially, when it´s a touchy topic. So please know I´ll support you no matter how you decide."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. I love you, Si."

"I love you too. You can do it, B. I believe in you." 

After they hang up, Bram sits on his bed, rethinking his decision. It´s true, he is really trying to be more himself and less closeted. He made a group of friends and he is openly gay and proud. Maybe it´s not that weird he likes the WWII. Why couldn´t he? It´s an interesting part of history full of unbelievable life stories. And he would be damned before he let somebody who doesn´t give a fuck about it make some boring presentation full of dull information.

He went to tell his history professor he changed his mind right that afternoon.

Now, here he is, in front of the whole lecture hall, ready to talk about Nazis, holocaust and Jews and let me tell you he felt weird. He was already pretty nervous for obvious reasons and if you add the speaking… It suddenly seemed like a whole new lot of troubles. 

Bram was naturally shy but he was also a firm believer in proper preparation and that nothing can go wrong if you know how to react. So you can imagine how hard he has worked on this.

Unfortunately, none of his new college friends was in this lecture, so there was no familiar face to look on for support. Because he knew this, he hasn´t even spared the audience much of a look. 

_Screw it, Abraham, you´ve got this._

So Bram began. He has prepared a presentation full of (mostly) pictures, because he knows how annoying it is, to listen to a lecturer and also having to read something from the slides. So he cut down the written text to minimum information such as dates, locations and number of dead. He talked and talked and slowly, the nervousness started to fade. Even his hands stopped shaking. 

So here he is, confidently talking about something he´s really interested in, in front of the whole lecture hall. He is almost enjoying himself. It´s a pity Simon can´t see this.

_He would be proud of me._

And while Bram is thinking this, he realizes he´s done.

The moment he has been dreading has come.

He has talked for the whole hour, uninterrupted, and he is at the end of his presentation.

Bram slowly turns towards the audience (he´s been walking from side to side while he was talking and sometimes he pointed out on something in his presentation) and waits.

For the excruciating eternity of three seconds is complete silence. And then somebody slowly starts to clap. Immediately, some other people join and suddenly the whole hall is applauding. Bram is furiously blushing.

"Well, Mr Greenfeld, that was amazing."

Bram turns to see his professor quietly clapping too.

"I think it´s solid 110%, am I right?" says the professor, still clapping, while turning his smiling face to the class.

Few people are quietly nodding while others are shouting "Yes!"

The professor pats Bram on the back. "You were really great. The presentation wasn´t overfilled with information, yet you mentioned everything important and even added some fascinating curiosities! You´re a natural, Mr Greenfeld, it seems I have a concurrence!"

After the professor ends the class, Bram goes to pick up his things, smile tugging corners of his mouth upwards. Some people congratulate him on their way out. One girl even shakes his hand. Bram is slowly relaxing and he starts realizing that it went oddly well.

As the lecture hall is slowly emptying, some bouncer-like boy with ginger hair and gleeful smile stops before him. Bram has seen him before in history lectures but never talked to him. 

"You know Greenfeld, isn´t it a little bit masochistic that you care so much about something that could have killed you? I mean, maybe not in the U.S. but if you had lived in Europe, it would have most certainly been your end. Sure, you could have tried to hide the fact that you´re a fag and maybe even the Jewish thing. But you wouldn´t have hidden how you look like."

_So much about it going well…_

Before Bram is even able to come up with a reply, another person approaches them. It is a smaller boy in a hoodie and before Bram can say a word, he is standing right next to Bram and facing the ginger.

"Shut your mouth, you stupid idiot. You´re just jealous he knows so much about something he´s genuinely passionate about."

The ginger smirks.

"And who are you? His boyfriend?"

Bram grabs Simon´s hand and answers.

"Actually, he is." 

Before the dumbfounded ginger can react, they´re out of the room.

As soon as they´re out of earshot, both of them burst into giggles. They calm down enough to talk only after they enter Bram´s dorm. Thankfully, it was Friday, so his roommate wasn´t there – he left home for the weekend. Bram turns to Simon, still holding his hand.

"What are you doing here? Not that I´m complaining. But shouldn´t you be on a play rehearsal or something?"

Simon squeezes his hand before he answers.

"And miss my amazing boyfriend in studious mood being cute af while also standing up for himself? Not a chance. By the way, the ginger boy is a moron and I´m really glad I was there to wipe away the smug smile from his face. Are you okay?"

Bram chuckles again at the mention of the other boy. His face, when Bram took Simon´s hand, was priceless.

Bram slowly fills the space between them as he is coming closer to Simon.

"Yeah. I am glad too," he says before he kisses his boyfriend.

Simon was probably just waiting for Bram to make the first step, because the second their lips meet, Simon is taking control of the kiss and deepening it. He buries his hands in Bram´s hair and pushes him against the door while swallowing his moan. Once Bram gets over the shock, he is quick to follow his boyfriend lead and puts one of his hands on Simon´s hip and the other on his ass because who he is to decline a greeting like this? When they part for breath, panting heavily, pupils wide, Bram is the first who breaks the silence.

"Little eager, aren´t we?" 

"God, Bram. You have no idea. I wanted to do that since you started your presentation. You were just wonderful. And so hot. I don´t mean like only good-looking, although you definitely are, you were just so confident and sure about everything that came out of your mouth and if we weren´t dating already I would be gone for you in a heartbeat. The professor was right. You really are a natural. Hot natural. No wonder it took me so long to get to you. Before I could even try to stumble through that crowd I had to…compose myself."

"Thanks, Si. It means so much you get turned on by my lecturing."

Simon smacked his arm. "Shut it! I´m trying to compliment you."

Bram laughs again and pulls Simon for another kiss. Slow and deep – the kind of kiss that makes you go weak in the knees.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you. I love you for ditching classes and coming here just to support me. You´re amazing," Bram adds in a more serious tone. "How long can you stay?"

The smile Simon gives him is radiant. "Well…Let me see…I don´t have to go to work on Saturday or Sunday and homework can wait too, so….The whole weekend, I guess? If you want me here of course…"

And suddenly Bram is smiling so bright he could outshine the sun as well.

"You´re kidding! That´s great, Si! And of course I do, there´s no person I´d rather be with." 

After some more kissing, they untangle themselves from each other only to end up cuddling on the bed. Simon rests his head in the crook of Bram´s neck and Bram wraps his arms around him.

You know, Si," Bram mumbles to his boyfriend´s ear, "I have one thing to show you. It´s a PowerPoint presentation I think you wouldn´t be opposed to seeing…"

Immediately, Simon jolts upright.

"Oh, you didn´t…"

Corners of Bram´s mouth doesn´t seem to come down.

"You bet I did."

Simon laughs as he imagines how much Bram must have been blushing while putting that thing together and he can´t help himself. 

Suddenly Simon is all over him again, hands on the back of his neck, pulling Bram to a passionate kiss. Bram pulls Simon on his lap, hands going on an adventure of their own under the smaller boy´s hoodie and shirt. They continue in making out, letting one thing lead to another…

You know what sucks? ~~Being black, gay and Jewish.~~

Having to hide in fear of revealing who you truly are. Bram was glad this wasn´t his case anymore.

And that he had a hand to hold through all of it when it used to be.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback appreciated :D   
> (read: I have spent what feels like forever pouring my very soul into this but I worry it´s terrible and if you´re mean I may just cry. Please, I live for validation! I need comments!)  
> Also, come and say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/weird-fangirling-persona) :))


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